Death, and a New Beginning

I was getting bored.

My goal was to make money, make a difference, and make friends. Be a part of something big, you know? I understand I was supposed to start off small, work my way up and make it big. I was looking forward to the journey, yet progress seemed to plateau for me lately. My wallet has broken a billion isk twice that I know of, and hasn't stayed up there long before it went down again. I needed a change or I would go stir crazy. Something different besides this constant cycle of wardecs and sitting on my hands, then try and rush out to make enough isk to keep one or both of the girls flying so I could keep income up. The plan seemed to work for a while, but with the wardecs and whatnot, I was clearly wasting money.

"Watcha thinkin?" Amalea asked. I jumped as I was staring out the window into space. I had finished my breakfast of bacon and eggs and was now sipping coffee while watching the ships dock and leave from the cafeteria. I did notice this morning that everyone seemed to pick seats far from my spot, besides Amalea and Maya, of course. They've been here a while without me noticing because Maya was halfway through her cereal.

"I was thinking of a change." I reply, setting my cup on the table.

"Changing what?" Maya asked.

"Everything. I was thinking of moving out to Null Sec. I would make much more money and the lifestyle is different." Amalea seemed to turn white. Maya didn't flinch and continued to eat. Only when she finished did she speak.

"What are your plans?" she asked, "It's going to be hard to get your stuff out there."

"Yes. I'm planning on leaving my corp to join one up there. I was thinking of selling most of my stuff and buying new stuff up there, but some of it has some sentimental value. I think I'm going to just give everything to Osiph and have her sell it for me or use it herself."

"How will you get up there though?" Maya asked, "I'm pretty sure you can't fly an interceptor. You will probably get caught in a bubble on the way and lose your ship and your life."

"Not to mention your impants." Amalea chimed in.

"I'm already in a clean clone." I said. It did feel odd to be in a different body. This one had the same upgrades as the last, but no implants. Those were still safely installed in my old body. I could clearly tell the difference. I felt kind of slow and dull than I was used to. Like I was half asleep compared to when I had implants. Maybe this is how normal people feel...

"So how are you going to go up there?" Maya asked.

"I'm going to die."


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This is what I have done. I'm staring at the self destruct option while sitting in my pod inside a station. I had contracted all my things over to Osiph, along with an explanation of what I was doing. She was happy for me, yet she was a little disappointed that I was leaving just as our relationship was getting better. Maya and Amalea were at odds with how they felt about it. I had assured them that I would be making much more money and would have them come up with me as soon as I could if they wanted to. They both agreed after a lengthy private conversation.

I thought about Sister Alitura and her ongoing investigation, however, I directed her to Osiph who agreed to take up the investigation on my behalf. She told me she knew I wasn't happy here and understood why I was going, gladly helping anyway she could.

So now, all of my things were in her hands, my market orders canceled, all my industry jobs done, my PI has been pulled up, I've said my goodbyes and now I sit in my pod, my mind was kind of hesitant to activate my self destruct.

"You've remembered to set your medical clone to your new null sec station, right?" Maya asked over comms. My camera drone swiveled to view the balcony of my Captain's quarters where her and Amalea were standing.

"Of course. That's the whole point of me doing this." I scoffed, "I blow up here and my consciousness goes to my new medical clone in Null Sec."

"Then what's the hold up. Get to the explodey part!" She teased.

"It's just...." I trail off.

"What?"

"I've never died before. Not since becoming a Capsuleer." I confessed. It was true. I lost only a handful of ships, but no pod losses up to this point. I've never died."

"Is this why you asked all those questions about it before? You did just clone jump, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but this is dying." I say, "It's different."

"Are you scared?" Maya asked after a pause.

"No. It's just more like I have a decent living streak going here that I'm about to break." I say. I can see her shoulders shaking as she starts to laugh. The camera drone can't zoom in so far to see her face, but I can see this at least.

"Sain, have a good trip." She just said, "I'm sure it won't be long before we see you again."

"Thanks." I say, smiling. I tried to close my eyes but they were already closed in the pod. Still a little hesitant, I reached out with my mind and activated the self destruct.....

*.......BANG!*

It was a delayed reaction. There wasn't even an option to abort or to ask if I was sure. I pressed the button and there was a flash of light. I remember feeling cold and in the dark. Maybe it was the lack of implants that delayed the reaction, but before I realized it, I came to my senses and realized nothing happened.

Or I thought nothing had happened. The inside of the station was slightly different now. It seemed darker than before. The system indicator was showing those red numbers of Null Sec. I had made it and died doing so.

Taking a moment to calm myself from the jolt of a new clone, I start thinking of what to do next. I buy a Skiff and fit it out, then  I was about to undock but my new corp's comms and Intel channels light up with warnings. I refrain from undocking and adrenaline rushes when I see local spike with twenty six new pilots, all red to me. The enemy had just jumped into my new home and I was forced to stay inside.

Within a few minutes, they had moved on, and I was able to undock for the first time, in a rookie ship to be sure. I had to fetch some rigs for my Skiff in the neighboring system, but as I warped back to the gate, again Intel flared up saying they were on the way back. I made it back in station and docked with my gear, but they didn't end up coming into the system.

I was told it was quiet up here. It does have it's moments though. I just happened to jump right into one of those moments. A lot more exciting than High sec, that's for sure. I'm looking forward to getting out into the belts and making some good money for once. For now, the trip and excitement had worn me out, and I ended up falling asleep in my pod for the night.